| The Ambani wedding instantly took me back to two things – one, how inequality stood more exposed, two, the struggles during my own wedding Economics in theory can sometimes be hard to visualise. On 12th of July, the richest man in India held a wedding that the whole world watched. It is said to be one of the longest and most extravagant weddings endured by the world. (For more context, see Dr. Anand Teltumbde’s analysis here) When we talk of income inequality as a concept, it is sometimes difficult to grasp. In protest songs on rights of the poor, it is common to reference the Ambanis and Adanis as examples of the wealthy in India. During campaigns for pensions for the unorganized sector, we would often sing: “Ambani ki tanquaa thodi ghatani padela!” (Translation: May Ambani’s salary please be reduced!) I recall how singing this would cause discomfort to some. “But why call for anyone’s salaries to be reduced? Why can’t you advocate for the poor without asking for a reduction?” The Ambani wedding extravaganza was a fitting answer, I thought. It will be hard to forget just how wealthy they are. Those of us citing Ambanis’ wealth to advocate for a more equal society, I hoped, will face fewer questions. As I watched my social media feed, I saw that some people condemned the excesses. I silently wondered about whether those condemning would also take a stand in their own family weddings. If they would ever stick their necks out for other non-conventional weddings happening within their families or circles. Whether their opinion would go a step further into the smallest of gestures or public action. Perhaps the smallest of discussions every time there was a family wedding. Because I truly believe that these small steps could pave the way forward for some real change someday. Wished my own wedding had received more support for my principles. |
| Confronted by a question I could not forget It was the year 2012. As a young, privileged engineer who had just quit Deloitte to work in rural India, I would shadow and accompany the activist (and my mentor) Shankar ji everywhere. The poverty and inequality I witnessed pained me. I remember being particularly affected by the conditions of Bhils, a tribal community. Single, pension-eligible, elderly women would have wheat no more than a day’s grain in their containers. The families that I met had little to no savings at all. But their weddings! Their weddings were another story. A huge source of debt in their lives. Even the poorest farmers and daily wage labourers had weddings involving an expenditure that far exceeded their entire lifetime’s savings. At one such wedding that I witnessed in 2012, a discussion naturally took course on the subject. At one point, one of the villagers said to me – “Madam ji, do something during your wedding, OK? Let’s first watch you cut back.” Another agreed, adding, “Didi, right now you have little idea of what it takes to stand up to all the pressure. It’s easy to point fingers at others.” A third person chimed in. “Relatives will shame you. They will say, there is something wrong with the bride/groom. You are cutting back on the scale of wedding because you are ashamed of something. You have something to hide!” The discussion stayed in my mind. I was single back then. These questions lurked in the corners of my mind.I remember holding onto my curiosity. If I would ever marry one day, what was going to happen? Would our families be spending a portion of our wealth too on the festivities? How would I react to the pressure? Questions that went on to impact my principled positions during my wedding. The headline of my own wedding “cutbacks” was as follows: (this section is only to email subscribers – please join to be my reader) Sustainability as a lifestyle Beyond festivities of weddings which are still largely a 1,2 or 3 day event, the bigger question is of sustainability as a life choice. Weddings are one event. A grand opportunity. How sustainable are the rest of our choices? And do we identify with any Gandhian values at all today? This could be about using only second-hand clothes. For us and our children. Being mindful about our consumerism. Acknowledging harm to the environment. Reducing our carbon footprint. Choosing to walk or cycle instead of a fuel-drinking vehicle. This choice will be different for different people. We are not all the same. The things that appeal to us may not appeal to someone else. Without judgements. Sustainability and simplicity as a way of life, and in as many aspects as possible, is something to think about. And whether as a value system, this relates to who we really are. Finally, I wanted to share examples of some path-breaking weddings that, I feel proud to say, my friends are involved with: Meet the Couples Upending India’s Caste-Based Marriages (yesmagazine.org) Thanks for reading. |