How to support those facing abuse online
For those of us who work with women and non-binary genders throughout the year, a persistent concern is what's happening with women's online expression. Do women have the same degree of freedom online as offline? Or are there greater consequences — especially punishments — to expressing oneself online, when offline freedoms have not yet caught up?
How an increase in abuse during the pandemic was facilitated by Information and Communication Technologies is well-studied. Domestic-abuse helplines in Mumbai reported being overwhelmed. LGBTQIA and non-binary genders were not spared. Nor were those from low-income groups, minorities, Dalit and tribal communities. A UNESCO-commissioned study documents how women journalists attract disproportionate abuse.
A mother in her 30s approached me
She told me this: a WhatsApp status photo she had posted of herself at a waterfall had caused a rift in her family. A relative took a screenshot and circulated it in family groups, questioning her attire. When she approached her husband for support, he slapped her. "Why did you post such a photo? And now you expect me to support you?" Things had changed in her marriage, permanently.
When she heard about my work, she came to me expressing her interest in building awareness and doing her part in reducing violence.
Her presence and her personal story always reminded us of how real the harm could be. It kept us grounded.
Practical ways to help someone facing online abuse
This is not an exhaustive list — simply things that have stood out to me across every case I've had the chance to work on. A woman might already know exactly how she wants to be supported. Always check for that first.
- Extend support online when you see a woman being attacked. Yes, this can make it louder — but at least it breaks the monotony of a one-sided attack. Your family WhatsApp group might hesitate next time, knowing you will speak up.
- Connect with her offline. Talk over the phone if you can't meet her. Check in on her. Your phone call or act of care might remind her that not everyone is hostile. Offline outreach can be far more powerful than the online abuse she is facing.
- Stop judging what women post. Noticing her clothes, her attire, questioning it internally or in private circles — it's nobody's business. Merely because someone has expressed herself online does not give anyone the right to judge her. Remember that those with power in her life will take that judgement several steps further.
We don't know if we can solve every problem or reach every attacker. But we can make the woman going through abuse feel strongly supported — and restore her confidence by standing firmly behind her.
60% of women surveyed in one study reported that abuse occurred on Facebook and social media. But 40% reported that it also occurred in person. The online and offline are not separate worlds.